"If You Want Me To..."
Right now, in this very instant of my life, I'm having one of the hardest times I've ever gone through. I have my days of complete bitterness, hurt, nothing but tears, insecurity, anger and loneliness. It's dark and it's no place I want to be. I also have the repeated questions of "Why me?"..."What did I do to deserve this?"..."When will this end?" I'm constantly crying out to God, on my knees with tears running down my face, asking for Him to guide me. To protect me. But mostly, just hold me in those moments of hurt and feelings of abandonment by others. But to hear the gentle whisper of God saying, "I have you, I love you...you're not alone" puts me at ease.
A few moments ago, I was lead to one of my favorite songs by Ginny Owens called, "If You Want Me To". This song is such a blessing in so many ways. When she says,
...reminds me that even though we don't know God's reasoning for the things He allows us to experience, we need to keep trusting that He is in control during those dark times. Even if it means getting closer to Him. She goes onto sing,
It's hard to remember during our hardships that what we're most likely going through is strengthening us for the Kingdom and our future. And this verse is so true for me. Whenever I feel like giving up, I can't help but remind myself, "There is a reason for this, Bree. He's gonna use this." So...even if it means going through the toughest times to get closer to God, then I welcome those opportunities, rather than avoid them.
A few moments ago, I was lead to one of my favorite songs by Ginny Owens called, "If You Want Me To". This song is such a blessing in so many ways. When she says,
"The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to"
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to"
...reminds me that even though we don't know God's reasoning for the things He allows us to experience, we need to keep trusting that He is in control during those dark times. Even if it means getting closer to Him. She goes onto sing,
"Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to"
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to"
It's hard to remember during our hardships that what we're most likely going through is strengthening us for the Kingdom and our future. And this verse is so true for me. Whenever I feel like giving up, I can't help but remind myself, "There is a reason for this, Bree. He's gonna use this." So...even if it means going through the toughest times to get closer to God, then I welcome those opportunities, rather than avoid them.
"It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone"
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone"
True dat, sista. Whenever you come to that point in your life when things are so out of line and it just feels like your world is just falling apart, that is exactly what you think, "this is NOT what I would've chosen..." but God never said it would be easy, but He did say we would never face it alone.
"So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to"
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the valley If You want me to"
Trust me, I know what it's like to have times of feeling completely alone, abandoned, betrayed, and straight up hurt. I know what it's like to feel like I cried and cried and cried and prayed and prayed and prayed and think God doesn't hear me. But I also know what it's like for Him to answer me, to be completely immersed in Him and know that He doesn't allow things to happen to us just for the heck of it. He loves us and wants to be closer to His children.
"'Cause when I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to"
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to"
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